When You Or Your Teenager Are Always Tired | Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith | Episode 148

Parents often talk about behavior problems or strained relationships with their teenager. While there are many potential contributing factors for those issues, if your teen is stressed, tired, or worn out then anything they are struggling with will be exacerbated. If you are stressed, tired, or worn out then it can strain your relationship with your child. On the Mighty Parenting podcast, Sandy repeatedly shares how important it is to be curious and listen well. But, how patient will you be if you’re not well rested? How well will you listen without interjecting your opinions and advice? Rest impacts our lives in so many ways and today’s episode brings a whole new perspective to the idea of rest. Sandy Fowler interviews Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith to find out why sleep isn’t enough and how different types of rest can impact our sleep and our entire lives.

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A Favorite Quote from the Show: 

“When our teenager is always tired we assume they need more sleep, but rest isn’t just sleep.”

High Points From Our Conversation About When You or Your Teenager are Always Tired:

Simply ceasing activities (lying around watching Netflix) or sleeping isn’t really resting. Sleep is just one type of physical rest.

There are 7 types of rest: physical, mental, spiritual, spiritual, social, sensory, and creative. Not experiencing them all can leave us always feeling tired.

Rest deficits in areas other than physical can impact our sleep and leave us feeling always tired.

Mental rest deficits tend to keep us in light sleep. As we worry over our day or our to-do list, we have difficulty moving into deeper, restorative sleep.

Creative rest is the most misunderstood type of rest. This is the rest we receive when we experience beauty. This beauty can be natural and achieved by spending time in nature. It can also be achieved by experiencing beauty made by human beings through the arts.

We use creative energy all the time, in our work, our parenting, our lives. Our kids use it for sports, school, and more. We need to experience creative rest in order to refuel.

Rest equals restoration. This means that simply ceasing activity isn’t always restful.

Whether it’s you or your teen, watch what happens after an activity. Notice how that activity affects you or them. For example: Saundra’s son was struggling to write his college essay. He needed creative rest so he went outside and spend some time shooting hoops. When he came back in he was able to tap into his creativity to write his essays. 

Our teens struggle with emotional rest. The constant demands of being who they think people want them to be, the constant notifications on phones, and the demands of the modern world drain them and this leaves them always feeling tired.

Everyone needs one person in their life who with whom they can really, truly be themselves. Teens need this even more than adults since they aren’t even certain who they are yet.

Ask your teenager if they have someone in their life they feel they can be themselves with. If they say no, help them find someone. This can be someone else they know, a teacher, coach (life coach, college coach, sports coach), counselor, therapist or someone else. It doesn’t matter who it is as long as they have someone.

Another way to get mental rest is to journal. Journaling allows us to release our feelings.

Emotional rest is impacted by sensory rest—allowing your senses to rest. Turn off the radio in the car. Sit with your eyes closed. Simply be in a space.

Resources:

Might Parenting podcast episode 132: Resolving Differences | Jude Bijou

RestQuiz.com

Our Guest Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith:

Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a Board-Certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and author. She is an international wellness expert featured in numerous media outlets including Prevention, MSNBC, Women’s Day, FOX, Fast Company, Psychology Today, and as a guest on Dr. Oz show. She is the author of numerous books including her new book Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity, including ground-breaking insight on the seven types of rest needed to optimize your productivity, increase your overall happiness, overcome burnout, and live your best life.

Our Sponsors:

Inward Bound Mindfulness Education—iBme— provides In-depth mindfulness programs for teens and young adults. Courses and retreats help them learn awareness, compassion, and concentration practices which develop deep listening skills, self-awareness, and communication—essential competencies for success in all areas of life. Offerings have expanded to include courses for parents and other adults; all available online for 2020.

Sandy Fowler—helping passion-driven women who are also moms find time for what matters most (Free strategy on taking the first step to finding more time while relieving stress and guilt at https://sandyfowler.com/find-time