Building Resilience With Timeless Advice For Teenagers | Lisa Shumate | Episode 89

Why is resilience the current parenting buzzword? Because our children must possess it in order to be independent and successfully move into adulthood. Unfortunately, our teens are lacking in resilience. But there are things parents can do to help. Mighty Parenting podcast host Sandy Fowler talks with Lisa Shumate about her timeless advice for teens that builds resilience. Lisa shares lessons from Always and Never, her books for teenagers that teach awareness and self-reflection—two skills that create strong, capable, resilient teens and young adults.

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A Favorite Quote from the Show: 

“Mistakes are beautiful. Really we should expect mistakes, own them, learn from them and move on.”

High Points of Our Conversation About Resilience and Timeless Advice for Teens:

The most important things in life are universal lessons like trust, faith, gratitude, mistakes, love and so on.

‘Never say never’ was intended to help opportunities open up. It was not intended to push the notion of anything goes.

When you show up believing you’re in charge it changes your life.

We want our children to be resourceful, therefore we shouldn’t make things too easy for them.

Mantras can be helpful reminders when we get in a tough situation. For example, when faced with something they’ve never done before, having a mantra about the beauty of mistakes can support them.

Our kids are going for perfection but life moves too fast for perfection. They really need to be able to learn, unlearn, and relearn.

Mistakes are being perceived as bad. Unfortunately, shame is a large part of our culture and contributes to a negative view of mistakes. Really we should expect mistakes, own them, learn from them and move on. 

When kids have group projects we can help them create awareness of others and learn how groups work. Encourage them to be less invested in the outcome of the project and open to the experience. Notice who is a perfectionist and how they rush in when others don’t step up. Be aware of the person who steps back and simply lets others do the work. See if someone is abrasive and doesn’t know it. Consider how these people affect the group and the project. Experiment with responses to see how you impact the group.

Awareness of who we are defines our experience. It is also important for your own inner peace and well being. It helps us do our best work and live our best life.

Teens need a mentor. They have limits on what they’ll accept from a parent. However, another adult who really sees them may notice a strength or talent. Becoming aware of this can spark an interest in our teen and change their lives.

Ask your child who in their life they see as a role model. Then find out what they would ask this person if they had the opportunity to speak to them. Encourage them to ask for a 15 minute meeting in order to ask the question. 

A mentor is a source of encouragement and guidance. They are not a performance coach.

Unconditional love is the only way to love but you shouldn’t lose yourself in it.

Resources Mentioned in Show:

Our Guest Lisa Shumate:

Lisa Trapani Shumate is Associate Vice President (University of Houston System) & General Manager, Houston Public Media, and also serves as Executive Director of the Houston Public Media Foundation.  Houston Public Media is comprised of News 887 (NPR), TV8 (PBS) and houstonpublicmedia.org.  

Lisa holds national leadership roles with PBS and the Public Television Major Market Group Board.

Lisa has more than 20 years media management experience, is the recipient of numerous awards and earned a Master of Business Administration from the University of Houston and participated in an International Business Residency in China. She also holds a Bachelor of Arts in Communications from Loyola University, New Orleans, Louisiana.

Now Lisa is expanding her media footprint to publishing with the goal of sharing wisdom and encouragement to young men and women entering adulthood about things that will always matter in life and career.

To learn more or connect with our guest visit https://alwaysandneverbooks.com. 

Photo credit: girl in quote graphic by Charles Postiaux