• Why Do Kids Bully – a Fresh Perspective on Preventing Bullying | Dr. Charlotte Reznick | Episode 18

  • Why do kids bully? When bullying occurs, parents and schools take action and invoke discipline to end bullying. But what if there was a different path, a more effective way of handling things? What if we ask the question, why do kids bully, then use the answer to discover and deal with the root cause? On this episode of the Mighty Parenting podcast we get a fresh perspective on preventing bullying. Hosts Judy Davis and Sandy Fowler interview Dr. Charlotte Reznick to understand why kids bully. They discuss what parents can do to work with schools and other parents to stop bullying as well as what to do if you see bullying behaviors in your own child. Parents often wonder why do kids bully, but today you learn to use the answer to protect and empower your child while creating a safer, kinder environment.

    In Real Talk, Sandy and Judy dig into the frustration and disappointment parents often feel during summer vacation. They’ll discuss a simple method for creating a harmonious summer and preventing disappointment and attitude issues that can ruin your summer.


    A Favorite Quote From The Show

    (Real Talk) The best way to nurture a relationship with your child as they get into their teen and adult years is to respect where they are different from you. If you don’t do that, you set yourself up for them to build their life away from you.

    High Points Answering – Why Do Kids Bully:

    Why do kids bullyKids bully for a reason. Typically, it’s because they feel bad about themselves and bringing someone else down makes them feel better.

    Trying out small bullying activities our kids may find attention and power that they seek which can lead to escalation.

    Parents need to watch out for signs their child may be inclined to bully because it means they are experiencing emotional issues and need help.

    Some of the signs your child may start bullying: see lots of anger and frustration, they aren’t showing empathy for people. We need to have a conversation that comes from the point of I’m concerned about you”.

    When someone else’s child is bullying, we need to approach the situation with empathy; empathy for the bully, the parents, and any school or community group that may be involved.
    Go into the conversation stating you are concerned for everyone and you want to figure out how you can work together to help everyone be happy, healthy, and in an emotionally safe space.

    We as parents, need to help our kids learn skills for managing emotion and for processing the difficulties of life. We can teach through modeling and teaching or learning together. Focus on breathing, mindfulness, and mediation.

    Whatever is happening it is not forever. There is hope.

    Real Talk:

    The simplest way to get a fun and peaceful summer is to have a family conversation.

    Take time to:

    • Lay out your expectations
    • Let everyone share their thoughts – in a respectful way
    • Detail concrete plans and expectations

    Remember to look at your teen as an almost-adult and respect their ideas, preferences, differences.

    Why do kids bully? Words to say:

    I’m concerned about our child. This what I noticed. How can we work together to make everyone feel better and treat each other kindly?

    I know you love your child and this doesn’t seem like him/her. Let’s see what we can do to help them.

    This is not the kind-hearted kid I know. So what’s going on?

    I understand that this behavior is not you, it’s coming from something deeper. We can work on that. But you need to be responsible for your behavior, for how you manage those deeper feelings.

    Our Guest:

    Charlotte Reznick PhD is a foremost authority on how to engage with and develop mindfulness, meditation, and imagination for children and teens. She is author of the Los Angeles Times bestselling book, The Power of Your Child’s Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Success and contributing author of the chapter “Imagery as a Therapeutic Tool with Children” to Transformative Imagery: Cultivating Imagination for Healing, Change, and Growth.

    Dr. Reznick is a child educational psychologist, a former UCLA Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology, and was named Imagery International’s Person of the Year in 2012 for the global impact of her work. Dr. Reznick has a 30-year meditation practice and is the creator of Imagery For Kids: Breakthrough for Learning, Creativity, and Empowerment, a mindful, positive coping skills program. In addition to her private practice in Los Angeles, California, she creates therapeutic meditation CDs for children, teens, and parents, blogs for Psychology Today and Huffington Post, is a frequent media consultant, and teaches workshops internationally on the healing power of child and adolescent imagination.

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