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Are you using the New Year to get more of what you want from life? Do you wish both you and your teenager would be more successful with your resolutions? Sandy Fowler talks about New Year resolutions for moms and teens in this episode of the Mighty Parenting podcast. She shares a common problem her clients have faced when making resolutions and her solution to this problem. She talks about why we end up feeling bad even when we make progress. And she wraps up this short episode with the details on how to enter the drawing to receive a free book as she gives away New Year gifts to Mighty Parents.
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A Favorite Quote from the Show:
If you want your child to change or you want a better relationship, focus on what you can control. Model the behavior you want. Focus on how you’re communicating. Be present, receptive and responsive. Accept who they are and love them without trying to change them.
High Points From Our Conversation on New Year Resolutions for Moms and Teens:
One of the things I often work on with clients is our propensity to declare intentions or goals or New Year resolutions around things we don’t necessarily have control over. It seems like we have control, but we don’t necessarily. Or, maybe we have control over it, but not directly.
One of the top New Year resolutions for moms is to lose weight, but losing weight isn’t something we control directly. It’s something we control indirectly through diet and exercise. Following a diet and exercising don’t guarantee you’ll lose weight.
If your resolution was to ride your bike 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes or to work with kettle bells for 15 minutes each day that’s directly under your control.
The idea here is to focus on what you can control and to celebrate your wins on those things.
The same principle moms use for New Year resolutions applies to parenting.
Oftentimes we have a desire to change something for or about our child or in our relationship. However, we can’t change our child and a relationship involves two people, and you only have control over one.
If you want your child to change or you want a better relationship, what can you do? Focus on what you can control. Model the behavior you want. Focus on how you’re communicating. Be present, receptive and responsive. Accept who they are and love them without trying to change them.
We keep hearing this over and over from our experts. We hear about the things we can do to help our teens be their best and inevitably what we hear is that we need to be our best.
Whatever it is that you want in this New Year, focus on what you can do that is totally in your control.
I recommend looking at what you can do to relax your body and release stress, especially after living through 2020. It’s been a stressful year and we need to release that stress to be the parent we want to be. It’s hard to patient, kind, and curious when we’re worn out, stressed and short tempered.
Choose to do things you know relieve stress for you or experiment with some new things: color, lie outside and watch the clouds, do yoga, meditate, exercise, or try different breathing techniques. There are myriad simple things we can do that have a great impact. Try them.
If you’re interested in trying a simple method of relaxation that requires nothing more than lying down and listening, I’m inviting you to attend one of my yoga nidra guided meditations. This doesn’t involve you doing yoga movements. You just lie there and listen to me. It’s a practice that has been shown to balance our nervous system, getting us out of fight/flight/freeze and into rest and digest mode so our body can truly rest, relax and rejuvenate.
If you’re willing to be patient with any glitches and to give me feedback on the session and the tech, I invite you to join me for a virtual session where I’m waving my fee as a thank you for helping me test things out. You can sign up to receive notifications at www.sandyfowler.com/yoganidraonline
If your goal is to build a better relationship with your teen or to improve your communication then be sure to grab our email series on How to Talk to Your Teen. That’s available at www.mightyparenting.com parenting.com
I’m a stress relief coach. I work with women 1-on-1 to help them relieve stress. I also work with moms to help them find time for what matters most without guilt and stress so you can work, run a business, volunteer, take care of yourself or follow another passion while still being a good mom. I have a couple free resources and my lesson The Art & Science of Saying No as well as my coaching. Visit www.sandyfowler.com to get ideas and support.
As you move into the New Year, focus on what you can control. Look at ways you can change habits or thought patterns so you can move in the direction you want.
Ask your child about their resolutions and, if you hear them making resolutions that are out of their control, or resolutions they can only control indirectly, share these ideas about direct control and daily habits. Help them set themselves up for success.
I’m giving away books to 5 listeners. You’ll be able to select the book you want from what I have available. To get in the drawing for a copy, just let me know why you loved an episode of the show or how the show, or a specific episode, impacted you. You can do it on www.mightyparenting.com/podcast. Just go to the post for that episode and leave a comment. Alternatively, send an email to connect @ mighty parenting [dot] com or message @mightyparenting on Facebook or Instagram. Then keep tuning in. I will announce the winners in January.
Resources Mentioned in Show:
Yoga Nidra meditation notifications at https://sandyfowler.com/yoganidraonline or learn more about Yoga Nidra at https://sandyfowler.com/yoga-nidra-meditation/
Find Time for What Matters Most—Struggling to work, volunteer or follow another passion while still loving your family? Sandy Fowler shows you how you can find time for what matters most without stress and guilt. Click here for the free video.
How to Talk to Your Teen email series at https://mightyparenting.com
The Art & Science of Saying No: Ditch Guilt, Find Time and Enjoy Your Life More With One Little Word Lesson is available at https://sandyfowler.com/saying-no/
Leave comments for podcast episodes at https://mightyparenting.com/podcast or email me at connect @ mighty parenting [dot] com or direct message @mightyparenting on Facebook or Instagram.
Our Host Sandy Fowler:
Sandy Fowler is a wife, mom, and business owner whose passion is teaching moms to make powerful choices that impact their lives in the best possible way. Whether she is speaking to a group, teaching a class, coaching a client, guiding a meditation, or hosting a podcast, she is always helping busy women find simple ways to make life better. Her natural curiosity paired with her down-to-earth, practical approach to living, working, and prospering, allows her to help them take back their life from the busyness and stress of modern-day living.
To learn more or connect with Sandy visit https://sandyfowler.com
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