The Surprising Reason Kids Can’t Handle Disappointment or Failure | Deborah Gilboa – Dr G | Episode 112

We hear a lot of frustrated and worried parents commenting on the way teenagers aren’t handling disappointment or failure well. When life gets frustrating kids are folding or melting down. Not being able to buy the gadget they want, not getting the grade they want, not making the cut for the team, not achieving 1^st chair in orchestra or not getting praise and adulation from their boss, teens and college students are struggling with handling disappointment and failure. In this episode of the Mighty Parenting Podcast, co-hosts Judy Davis and Sandy Fowler dig into this tough topic. They interview Dr. Deborah Gilboa, affectionately known as Dr. G, about the problem, finding out more about what’s happening, how it affects our kids’ futures and what parenting practices can help save our kids from the fallout. 

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A Favorite Quote from the Show: 

“Now that’s a problem you can handle!”

High Points From Our Conversation About Why Kids Can’t Handle Disappointment or Failure:

The inability to handle disappointment and failure is causing our kids to not even try something unless they are certain they will succeed. This is closing doors before they even take a shot at an opportunity.

Parents contribute to this by being excessively helpful.

Solution: Help your kids become problem solvers.

1. 1.Every time you find yourself doing something for your child, ask yourself if they’re developmentally ready to handle it and, if so, let them. But don’t dump everything on them at once or you’ll have a rebellion.
2. 2.When our kids express an issue say, “That’s a problem you can solve!” Then let them solve it.

Resources Mention in Show:

Dr. G’s TED Talk: The Expectation Gap https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2eNZ1OwZPY

Our Guest Dr. Deborah Gilboa, a.k.a. Dr. G:

Internationally respected parenting and youth development expert, Deborah Gilboa, MD, is the founder of AskDoctorG.com. Popularly known as Dr. G, she is an industry leading speaker, author, social influencer, media personality and mom of four boys. She inspires audiences with relatable stories and easy tools to develop crucial life skills in children, teens, and young adults ages 2-22.

Her straightforward advice (with a dose of humor) has been featured on the Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox News, the Rachael Ray Show, and many more. She regularly contributes to Today.com, Huffington Post, Parents, Your Teen Magazine and MSNBC.com. 

Dr. G is also the author of the critically acclaimed book, How to Get the Behavior You Want… Without Being the Parent You Hate! Dr. G’s Guide to Effective Parenting (Demos Publishing, LLC), which breaks down 60 key challenges faced by parents of kids primarily in their pre-teen years and her beloved, user-friendly parenting activity books, Teach Resilience: Raising Kids Who Can Launch!, Teach Responsibility: Empower Kids with a Great Work Ethic, and Teach Respect: That’s My Kid! 

To Learn More or Connect With our Guest visit https://askdoctorg.com/

Photo credit: Ryan Redcay