• Mighty Parenting Tackles: Ending Family Friction | Judy Davis Sandy Fowler | Episode 52

  • Raising teenagers and parenting twenty-somethings has many challenges, not the least of which is family friction. During these years when our kids are discovering themselves, pushing boundaries, and learning independence, parents can feel frustrated. The clashing of ideas and personalities is normal but it can also damage your relationship with your child. Join Mighty Parenting podcast hosts Judy Davis and Sandy Fowler as they discuss family friction, its causes and consequences along with tips for reducing it. These tips not only reduce friction, they will actually help you in building a good relationship with your teenager.

     

     

    BONUS: Sandy shares her family’s experiment with slowing down. Judy and Sandy discuss what they did, the surprising results, and what it can do for parents. https://www.patreon.com/mightyparenting

    A Favorite Quote from the Show:

    To have a healthy relationship with our teen & young-adult children, we need to show them respect but our efforts to help them can send a very different message.

    High Points of Ending Family Friction:

    Family friction is normal.

    Friction is a sign telling us to take a closer look. It’s telling us to be curious, take a look and see what needs work in our parenting or in our relationship with our teenager or twenty-something.

    If your child is acting out, shutting down, or using avoidance, these are signs there may be family friction. When you see those signs, it’s time to live curious. Three key areas that can be out of whack and cause friction are: capacity, expectations, and communication.

    We all have expectations and the distance between our expectations and what happens can cause friction.

    We fail to recognize how much our kids have grown and expect them to be the same.

    If we don’t shift our expectations as our kids grow and learn, our kids can interpret that as us not thinking they’re not capable.

    One way of adjusting our expectations is to ask ourselves how we would handle this same situation if it was a friend rather than our child. This can help us approach things a bit differently and it may feel more respectful to our child.

    Communication is more than what we say, it includes what we do and our body language as well.

    Friction comes when we talk to much, are judgmental, or assume we know what’s best for the other person.

    Our kids have a lot more going on than parents realize. If we don’t take the time to understand the stressors in their lives, there will be friction and we won’t have good communication.

    We need to find out if our child’s goals and expectations for their life match our expectations for their life. Again, those differences in expectations can cause friction.

    Friction can ruin your relationship.

    The first thing we need to do in communicating with our kids is to focus on communicating to understand.  This includes listening to understand and dropping judgments.

    Friction can develop when we don’t acknowledge our child’s capacity for handling or doing certain things.

    Shows and Resources Mentioned:

    Judy Davis and Sandy Fowler episode on self-care – episode 14

    Free email series on communication: How to Talk to Your Teen

    Our Guests:

    Judy Davis aka The Direction Diva is a sought after motivational speaker, entrepreneur, author and host of the Mighty Parenting Podcast. She is a small business and teen suicide prevention expert as well as an influencer in the military spouse community. Judy is passionate about providing programs and resources to families across the nation and is the CEO of DASIUM – a brand leading the way in depression, addiction and suicide prevention in teens and young adults.

    A recipient of the 2016 Dove Real Beauty Award, Judy has also been quoted, featured, and profiled in a variety of publications and interviews including Smart Money Magazine, Hiring America TV, The Jim Bohannan show, Dr. Laura Berman Show, and more. She is regularly featured as a parenting and military lifestyle expert/guest on radio shows, events and panels highlighting the challenges and issues facing families today.

    Sandy Fowler helps people take back their lives. She works with women and small business owners, teaching them how to make powerful choices that let them leave stress behind and live a joy-filled life. At Mighty Parenting she helps parents make powerful choices that reduce stress while improving parenting and emotional wellness. At DASIUM, she guides parents and organizations in preventing depression, addiction, and suicide in teens and young adults.

    She has been quoted on Lifetimemoms.com and SheKnows.com, featured in a cover story in the Detroit Free Press Twist Magazine, published in Mompreneur magazine and the Clarkston News. Sandy is a co-creator of The Keys to Getting What You Want: 4 Little Known Communication Secrets, and the creator of the Calendar Magic coaching program. She authored two books that use her principles to guide moms through the holiday season. She is a co-host of the Mighty Parenting podcast. Sandy loves to spend her free time camping, hiking, reading, or playing games with her husband and daughters. You can connect with her at SandyFowler.com.

    To learn more or connect with Judy visit https://thedirectiondiva.com and Sandy at https://sandyfowler.com

     

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