Mentally strong parents don’t let a couple bad habits ruin their parenting. But what does it mean to be mentally strong and how does that affect our parenting? International best-selling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, Amy Morin, is back. She’s joining Mighty Parenting podcast hosts to discuss her new book 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do. Judy Davis and Sandy Fowler are pulling out the important details and deep diving on a method for making sure your teen has what it takes to be strong and resilient.
A Favorite Quote from the Show:
It’s never too late to start building mental muscle.
High Points From The Mentally Strong Parents Interview:
Bad habits cost us. We can have one or two bad habits that are outweighing our good habits. Getting rid of them can get us unstuck.
The same can be true in our parenting. One or two of our bad parenting habits can keep our kids stuck.
Mentally-strong parents don’t condone a victim mentality. They don’t encourage their kids to focus on the negative or wallow in helplessness.
When parents rescue kids from everything it can lead to a victim mentality; kids don’t learn that they have the power to change things.
If all you hear is negative, ask about the good and limit the attention you give to the bad stuff. Validate their feelings but don’t dwell on the negative. Give them attention for the good.
Help them focus on what they can control. For example, you hear, “Tomorrow at school I have to give a presentation. It’s going to be dreadful and horrible and I don’t want to go.” Talk about what they can do like prepare, practice, and do your best.
When kids go through hard times we can cut them too much slack and that lets them feel like a victim. It can also teach them to use the difficulty as an excuse not to try or succeed. As parents, we can help shift that.
The simple, flexible question that helps our kids learn that they are not a victim: What can you do about that?
Raising a child who can ask for help at appropriate times is huge!
If there’s just one thing you’re going to do differently, label your child’s feelings and help them understand them.
It’s never too late to start building mental muscle. With teens you can talk to them and look at how to do this as a family.
If you get a lot of resistance, it’s not about changing your kid, it’s about changing your parenting habits.
Our Guest Amy Morin:
Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do and 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do have been translated into 32 languages. She’s been named one of the top 100 speakers by Inc. Magazine and she’s also a psychology professor at Northeastern University.
Judy Davis and Sandy Fowler are entrepreneurs who help people live better lives. After creating DASIUM they realized they could help parents avoid the challenges and pain they experienced. Mighty Parenting is what families need to get real, relevant information about raising teens and parenting young adults in today's world.
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