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Parents want their children to be happy but what does that really require? What do we do when our kids are facing a difficult time, when they’re asking the tough questions? Dr. Suvrat Bhargave found there are some fundamental questions we all have and the way we tend to answer them leaves us anxious and unhappy. He is talking to Mighty Parenting podcast host Sandy Fowler about ‘a moment of insight’ and sharing a plan for raising our children which allows them to answer these questions in a way that creates an authentic, purposeful, and loving view of themselves.
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A Favorite Quote from the Show:
Who I am at my core has nothing to do with the roles I play in my life.
High Points of a Moment of Insight on Raising Happy, Healthy Kids:
When we’re at a difficult time, on our knees, we ask the tough questions. Our insecurities come out and we ask, “Why me?”
We can tell our kids that what they are experiencing is normal. Asking those scary and difficult questions is not unique, they are not alone in what they are thinking and feeling.
If I’ve ever felt what you felt then how dare I judge you?
Let them know you want to know how they’re feeling.
Parents say we want our kids to be happy but what that really means is we want them to have a life with purpose.
Our children find a life with purpose by knowing who they are and what their gifts are.
Who I am at my core has nothing to do with the roles I play in my life.
A Task: In the next 10 days, identify your 5 gifts. These are qualities and traits that never change and don’t depend on who’s around you.
Using your gifts allows you to live purposefully.
Doubting the idea that I have purpose is at the core of anxiety.
We get caught up in what we do, the roles we play, but those go up and down. However, who I am is constant. Nothing you can do will change this. You don’t have to work extra hard to be worthy.
We mix up what we do with who we are. An example is when our child brings home a report card with excellent grades or a lot of improvement and we tell them “I’m so proud of you!” That is focused on their role as a student. If we are focused on who they are we might say something like, “Look at that! There you go being curious again.” This focuses on their gift of curiosity which is part of who they are.
One of our biggest hurdles is shame. The discussion of who you are overcomes shame.
Guilt is regret for what I did. Shame is felt for who I am.
We hear how people define who we are and we make that our role. We need to define ourselves, regardless of the role.
Don’t let your gift become a burden. You can utilize your gift while maintaining boundaries.
A ‘moment of insight’ is when you realize a way of being, thinking, behaving isn’t working for you. This often makes us willing to change.
Resources Mentioned in Show:
A Moment of Insight: Universal Lessons Learned from a Psychiatrist’s Couch
Our Guest:
Suvrat Bhargave, M.D. is a renowned and respected educator, speaker, and board-certified psychiatrist, specializing in child and adolescent psychiatry. His uncanny ability to relate to a multi-demographic audience has allowed his practice to reach an unparalleled level of success based on empathy, education, and empowerment. Affectionately known for his “relatable expertise”, Dr. Bhargave is highly sought after to lecture locally and nationally on a broad range of topics pertaining to personal growth, effective parenting, relationship satisfaction, and mental health conditions.
After completing his residency training and specialty fellowship from Duke University, Dr. B (as he is lovingly called by his patients) continued his practice in hospitals, community health, and private practice settings. Throughout the years, he has been most inspired by the impact his caring nature, education, and treatment have had on others to facilitate change and to experience fulfillment through gradual but dynamic moments of “insight and awareness”. A passionate advocate for healing and empowerment, Dr. B is compelled to bring a world of change to each person one moment at a time.
To learn more or connect with our guest visit https://drbhargave.com
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